These Pretzels Are Makin’ Me Thirsty!
The Alternate Side — Season 3 / Episode 28
Kramer: Hey, you know they were supposed to do my scene today?
Elaine: Today?!
Kramer: You know they told me that they wanted me to walk down the block carrying this bag of groceries.
Elaine: Yeah.
Kramer: So I start to walk, and I trip, and the grocery bag goes flying, and Woody, Woody starts laughing.
Elaine: He was laughing?!
Kramer: Oh yeah, he was drinking something, it started to come out of his nose.
Jerry: So then what?
Kramer: I got a line in the movie!
Elaine: Get out!
Jerry: That’s great!
George: You got a line in the Woody Allen movie?
Kramer: Pretty good, huh?
George: You’re in the movie? Is he in the scene?
Kramer: Oh yeah, yeah, it’s me and him. I might have a whole new career on my hands, huh?
Jerry: You mean ‘a’ career.
Elaine: So was Mia Farrow there?
Kramer: Uh, I didn’t see him.
Elaine: What’s your line?
Boy, these pretzels are making me thirsty.
Kramer: Oh, well uh, okay I’m there with, uh, Woody, you know, I’m at this bar and, uh, I’m sit– you know it’s Woody Allen, did I mention that? The other three impatiently encourage Kramer to continue.
Kramer: So I’m sitting there with Woody and I say, I turn to him and I go, “Boy, these pretzels are making me thirsty.”
George: Is that how you’re gonna say it?
Kramer: No, no, I’m working on it.
Elaine: Do it like this. “These pretzels are making me thirsty.”
Jerry: No. “These pretzels are making me thirsty.”
Kramer: No, no. See, that’s no good. See, you don’t know how to act.
George: “These pretzels are making me thirsty!!”
George: That was no good?
Kramer: I didn’t say anything.
Elaine: I’m gonna go break up with Owen.
George: What was wrong with that? I had a different interpretation! Do you know anything about this pretzel guy?! Maybe he’s been in the bar a really long time and he’s really depressed because he has no job and no woman and he’s parking cars for a living! Alright! Alright! Shut up! Shut up! I hear you! I’m coming down! These pretzels are making me thirsty!